Tactica Thursday: The Douche Canoe

Welcome to Tactica Thursday ( it’s a thing! ) where I take a look at the actual game our toy soldiers take part in!

The Douche Canoe

The Douche Canoe is a name for the Necron Command Barge that was ceremoniously passed down to me by none other than Goatboy himself, of internet fame.  How he heard it is a mystery, but we can assume it was passed down from generation to generation of gamers more worthy than the next and it is my great pleasure to pass it along to you.

If the term douche Canoe is not enough to convince you, here’s all the bang you get from your 195 pts:

Necron Overlord, Warscythe, Sempiternal Weave, Catacomb Command Barge with Gauss canon

The Overlord himself (the Douche) is quite a nice Warlord, with T5, 3 Wounds, 3+/3++ Save, strikes at S7 ignore armor saves and can Rise from the Dead on a 5 up.

The Command Barge (the Canoe) is AV 13 on front and sides until it takes a Pen Hit ( more on that later ), 3 HP, has a decent gun.  It’s worth pointing out that it’s also a Fast Skimmer Chariot.

But wait, there’s more!

Now it doesn’t look quite impressive put like that.  I’ll go quickly over this, but it’s all in the rules.  Either the Chariot rules or the Necron Codex, it’s all there.  Let’s take the whole combo appart.

Fast Skimmer that can Jinx if needed.  You can sweep a unit ( 3 attacks S7, no armor save, that can target any model on a to hit of 6 ) that you moved over during the movement, including a unit in close combat.

Should you be shot at, you can chose what each weapon will hit.  That means that you can soak Lascanon fire with the douchelord to prevent penetrating hits.  This is quite a nice boost for the Quantum Shield, so you’re almost always AV13.  In the case you get shot at with a S10 and the tank gets to take the hit, you transform Immobilized and Weapon Destroyed to Crew Stunned, which you can then ignore with Living Metal.

Close combat is the tricky part of the Douche Canoe.  You can get tarpitted by large mobs quite easily, and wrecked by various units that can smash through your canoe, as the targetting rules do not apply in CC.  Do not get me wrong, The Douche Canoe ( yeah, caps. )  is no pushover either.  He can challenge fools, sports quite descent saves and weapons, and you get d6 S6 Hammer of Wrath on the charge, which make most MSU units weep.

Last fun part of this combo.  If you destroy either, you remove the whole model.  However, with Everliving, a 5+ brings back the chariot and the rider with 1HP.  We’ll be back indeed.

Oh, it’s an HQ selection, you can dual weild that stuff.  Fun times.

Leave a Reply